Preparation
While some couples date for the better part of a decade before tying the knot, it takes others seemingly no time at all to decide that they’ve met their match. There may be no rhyme or reason for why it takes some longer than others, but most of us desperately ask ourselves, “How?” How is it that you can make such a life-changing, long-term decision in such a short period of time, especially when you’ve lived so much of your life without this person? Sometimes it’s all about an instant connection-clearly a strong, magnetic one. It’s been happening more than ever amongst celebrities. Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin got engaged after just a few months together, as did Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande. But it’s not just an A-list phenomenon. These lightning-fast engagements are happening more than ever before.
Jacquelynn M. and her now-husband met on a work trip to St. Tropez, France. “It was love at first sight, and felt right the entire time throughout our brief, and very romantic, courtship,” she describes. “That being said, we were both older and had the experience of past relationships behind us.” The two got engaged after just three months of dating. “Of course, in retrospect, we didn’t know each other that well, but we learned as we went along.”
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It doesn’t really matter how couples first meet, though. Sasha H. connected with her now-husband, Michael, on the dating app Bumble. As soon as they met in person, she says it was clear that he was meant to be in her life forever. “I’ve always heard people say, ‘You just know when it’s right,’ and that’s truly how it was with us,” she explains. “We travel together, we work together, and we knew that we were going to build a life together within months of meeting.” Her advice for other individuals who think they feel this instant connection is to trust their instincts. “We made a conscious decision to choose one another for good, even after just months of dating, and are taking proactive steps to make sure we practice self-care, so that we are able to show up for each other,” she adds. “Premarital counseling can also help teach effective communication skills and conflict resolutions.”
Kim W.’s husband, Matt, says he knew he was going to marry her the very same day they met at a Jimmy Buffet concert. Less than a month later, Matt invited Kim to fly to California for a family wedding, and she says that’s when she was sure she’d found “the one.” “In the few weeks we knew each other, I met so many of his friends and was able to see how Matt interacted with his entire extended family. He was funny, warm, generous and it was clear that his family really thought he was very special,” she says. “We told everyone right then and there that we were going to get married, and we almost did!” The couple made things official a few weeks later and have spent the last 20 years building a family and raising their two beautiful children.
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Ishveen A. and her now-husband, Kirat, met through friends, but their first interactions were over email as he was living in New York City and she was in London. They were practice the same religion and were two entrepreneurs who had left careers in investment banking and management consulting, all of which gave them plenty in common. Three days after they were introduced, they spoke for the very first time-and ended up spending seven hours on the call. Ten days after that, Ishveen flew out to New York for a week so that they could meet in person. “At the end of the week, I met his grandmother and told her we would get married, and a month later we got engaged!”
While their courtship was quick, she points out that marriage is about making adjustments and accommodating each other, whether you were dating for six months or six years. “During the lifetime of a person, they keep changing and so it’s a constant adjustment to make sure you on the same page,” she says. “If, on the day you meet, you are on the same page and have enough common values to know that you could live together forever, be exclusive, build a family together, and love each other’s families, then the amount time you know each other doesn’t matter.”
